Happy Little Wallflower

learning to blossom

Expression of God’s Love?

on May 23, 2012

“God didn’t make Adam and Eve because He was lonely or because He needed someone to love Him in return. God is complete in Himself; He lacks nothing. God’s love compelled Him to create humanity. His love was expressed in the creation of the human race.” - Billy Graham

I ran across this Billy Graham quote this morning on Facebook. All I can think is we, humanity, WE are the expression of God’s love? Sounds crazy. I feel like asking ol Billy, have you seen humanity?  Especially lately, have you seen what we do to each to other? To creation? To the wildlife? Have you seen what we do to ourselves? Really, WE are the expression of God’s LOVE?

I don’t know why it bothers me so much. “God’s love compelled Him to create humanity. His love was expressed in the creation of the human race” Huh?

I keep thinking about the 2 idiots on the evening news last night who, get this, put their baby in a public washing machine, closed the door and then panicked when it filled up with water. They could not get the door open. The laundry mat attendant got the door open and saved the baby much to the parent’s relief. Now, story goes they were just joking around with the baby, “going to put in the washer?” kind of joke and it went terribly wrong. Went terribly wrong, ya think? You put your baby in a washing machine? Okay, maybe that’s more of a common sense issue. But still…

Perhaps it is because over the past year or so my life has turned upside down by love. Not by chaos or fear or troubles or pain but by love. The love of God has shaken my whole world. I had an experience that rattled my definition of love to the point that some days I don’t recognize myself. The way I see things, see people, see Him is so profoundly different that I often find myself wondering if I ever really knew what love was. I don’t think I did.

I obsessively pursued God for 15 years. I went to church faithfully. I served the community and the church religiously. I talked about the love of God like I knew what I was talking about. I boasted that I desired it more than anything in this world.  And yet, I did not know what the real love of God looked like.

It was not until God put a big ol love whammy on me that I even began to understand what the Love of God really is. It has changed everything. His revelation of love to me has caused me to look back and ask myself, “Did you ever know what real love is?” The encounter was so profound that I feel like I just came to salvation. Some days I feel like I toiled and strived for 15 years in vain. While the love of God set me free it also caused me to feel even more out of sync with this world, with humanity.

Maybe I am in some kind of spiritual washing machine? Tossing and churning about in water just trying to keep my head above water until God opens that door and saves my senseless self. Maybe I was in the washing machine for 15 years. Did I stupidly climb in the tumbling sudsy water and sit there like a dope till the Love of God opened the door saving me from certain death? Did I only find true love because I was honestly seeking to know God more? Maybe there’s nothing wrong, maybe God just answered my searching and His answer was not what I expected to find. It was more, so much more that my humanity is struggling to make sense of it.

If where He led me is the expression of His very essence, of His love then I am at a loss to understand. I can not comprehend a love so deep, so powerful, so moving, so beautiful, so strong and life altering. I am so blown away by what is churning inside my heart, mind and soul that I find myself questioning is God really this good? Is God really this loving? Can it all really come true?

Expression of God’s love. How can we, can I be such a numb-skull and yet be created to express what I feel inside me? How do I do that? How do I explain it? How? It is so unexplainable to myself let alone to anyone else but look around us. Look at what we do. Look at who we are. Do you see the Love of God in humanity?

I confess sometimes I don’t, especially now, I don’t see it. Not in the world and if I may, sometimes not in the church of God. Maybe we have not missed the love of God. Are we like the parents who were given an innocent, beautiful baby and not knowing how to handle it, put it in a washing machine? Maybe we are just idiots at how we handle it because it is so out of this world different from who we are that it’s easier to accept the bad, the defeat, the struggle rather than the freedom and beauty that comes with the Love of God.

I know I feel like an idiot. My deeper revelation of the true love of God leaves me feeling like the morning I got a rubik’s cube for Christmas. I stare at it and go, “what do I do with this?”  The love of God is the answer that humanity needs. It solves all the puzzles in this life. But now that I have the answer, somebody tell me what I am suppose to do with it…please.

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4 Responses to “Expression of God’s Love?”

  1. Vince Chough says:

    Jamie – I sometimes share your frustration, and your sincerity is essential. We live in a lost world. We were created in His image out of love. And we trash it. So what does the Creator do? He pours out even more love! This is unfathomable.

    You already know what to do with God’s love. Share it.

    Peace and blessings to you,
    Vince

  2. jamie says:

    Thank you Vince. I agree it can be very frustrating. I guess I am just searching for that way to share the love of God. It’s a daunting task. But you are right, His love is unfathomable and the fact that He keeps loving us despite our flaws is mind boggling to me.

  3. Jamie, I can’t hardly believe someone would be dumb enough to put their baby in a washing machine! That is crazy to me…but, I can’t fathom why someone would beat their child and use them as an ashtray either. So many messed up people in this world. Whenever I think of you though, I always think – Jamie, has a good heart.

    • jamie says:

      Awwww. Thank you Whitelady. I like your heart too! I agree about people in this world. Sometimes it is so confusing what bad things happen to kids. Breaks my heart. Good news is there are people, like you, who bring good into this world to fix all that bad stuff.

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